Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
