They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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