so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
