I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
