I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
