its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
