who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
