Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Be still, my beating vagina.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
