he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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