I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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