I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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