we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
