i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
