If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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