Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
