Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
