Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
