I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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