There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize