omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
this boner is exhausting
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
