i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I touched a dick in church today
You peed on a flamingo?!?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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