I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
