bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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