Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So much rum. So many feels.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
