I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
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