Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
