i may or may not be watching the land before time
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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