Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
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Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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