and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
