I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
