4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
