they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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