My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
