pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
