I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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