I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
