I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
