I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
