Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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