Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
