I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
