I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
