I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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