you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
