Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
