I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize