I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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