i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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