Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
