Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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