he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
