can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
