mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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