Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
