trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I could fuck to npr.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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