she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
handjob tips. give me some.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
