Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
